Friday 20 November 2009

There and Back Again

Deepest apologies for not having a post in about a week, but to be fair...

I have been doing NOTHING this past week. Nothing at all.

So perhaps yu can forgive me for not drawling on about how rubbish it is to be ostracized because of swine flu, or how great Z Gundam is, or how much I'd like a Japanese PS2 (Tuesday is not far off now...).

But now I have a few things to talk about, and we shall start with the most important, I feel. For on Monday I had to return to the doctor's to get myself rediagnosed, and it was quite possibly the very best example of why Japanese beaurocracy deserves a firey grave.

So, as I knew that they would be dishing the things out, my first port of call was the Health Center for the University at Muromachi Campus a short walk from Imadegawa so I could get that precious doctor's note. I risked not using my mask, as I was feeling fine, and went up to check. Turns out the doctor wasn't in (I'm starting to sense a pattern) so I was asked to go back to where I was originaly diagnosed and ask for a rediagnosis. So, on the bike and off to that other hospital (still can't remember the name) which was packed wth early-morning sickies, and was as such as far removed from the quiet efficiency of the out-of-hours clinic as you could get. After searching about for a main desk-looking place, I decided to follow the paper signs for the worryingly named 'Influenza Corner' and see what they could do.

I was convinced that I wasn't supposed to be there pretty quick, as the Influenza Corner was a shabby-looking room with no medical equipment, just a bank of computers and some guys in glasses who did NOT look like doctors. Regardless, I took a seat and told them my story. There were confused looks and hesistant questions, and at one point one passed another a note that clearly said 'What do we do?'. In the end, I was led by one of the bespectacled chaps to what turned out to be the main desk (which I later learnt, as with many of the desks, changes places throughout the daylike the stairs of Hogwarts).

So anyway, from there I was asked again for my sob-story, issued a patient's ID card and asked to wait. I was only there for about 10 minutes and a short form that asked for the usual stuff before I was handed a folder of files (the majority of which had nothing to do with me, I reckon) and asked to take the perilous journey to the unknown second floor via the escalator. There I handed the forms to the second floor main desk, and was asked to wait. At one point a nurse came over and asked me to check my temperature with a handy electro-thermometer (35.3, a bit on the cold side) and then led me to one of those machines that takes blood pressure, where I was strapped in. This is bearing in mind she may have had nothing to do with my case, and was just trying to speed things along, so when I heard the PA thing ask for 'Mr Swan to come to diagnosis room 1' I was a little alarmed, as not only was I busy, but with each passing moment the pressure on my arm was tightening. Turns out it only takes a couple of seconds, so I took the receipt the machine dished out and headed to the room.

In the end the diagnosis was no problem at all. They didn'd even have to stick the nasty spike/cotton bud up my nose; the friendly doctor just seemed to take my word for it. I was issued a clean bill of health, or rather would have been, except this was Japan, and so issuing anything is a task of marathon proportions.

So here's what happened:

The doctor showed me the form I would be receiving on screen (and it was a form, one filled out by the doctor), and Chris Tarrent-style informed me that they didn't want to give me that. At least, not until I'd paid for it. Paid?! Tch... Still, I was in no place to argue, and it was a mere 1,200 yen so I didn't mind much. It was that or never go back to school, after all. I was given a receipt for the form and sent down to the payment desk on the first floor, which that day at that time was at 'number 5', as opposed to '6', where it would be over the lunch period, and '8' where it would be after. I wish I was making this up.

So I handed the receipt to the people behind the desk, which took 3 minutes due to cue, and was then asked to sit down while they got things ready. About 4 minutes after I was handed a bit of paper with the number 219 on it, and asked to wait for my number to be called at desk 4, which was handily just next to desk 5. Heaven forbid I was there in the afternoon, I may have had to trek across the whole building! Waiting for 219 to come up cost me 30 minutes, which got me a chance to sent Pyotr through the trials of the Pokemon Stage at the Battle Frontier. Then I was indeed called up, and was given...

another bit of paper. This one had to be sent to the payment office at desk 3. I swear...

Anyway, I shuffled on over there, where I was queuing a little bit before I was asked to actually pay. And here's the part that cracked me up once I was out of earshot:

The form cose 1,200 yen, but the receipt for the form, the one I got from desk 4, cost an additional 200 yen. If the doctor had sent the form to the payment office, I could have gotten it for 1,200 as I was promised, but because I had the audacity to move some of their paper for them they charged me an additional 200 yen as some sort of transport fee. That I had to pay! The transporter!! Ridiculous.

And let's just go over the paper count just quickly. The doctor gave me a receipt, which got me a paper with a number on it, which got me another receipt, which got me the form I wanted. The doctor's was a form for a form for a form for a form. That's a 4 Form Combo! I love Japanese beauracracy.

But we're not done yet! Oh no! This Form to the Power of 4 was for the Doshisha office to prove why I was not in class over the last week, so I went to hand it in on Tuesday at lunch. And like Frodo with his magical ring, I expected something of a rest for finishing the trials that brought me to this point, but the Rivendell that is the Nichibun center was not happy with just that. I needed to collect teacher signatures MMORPG style to proceed, which needed to be written on their own special form... And the really funny thing? I needed one signature, thus one form, for each lesson I missed.

Sixteen forms.

Six-

-flipping-

-TEEN!!

That's Sixteen Form to the Power of 5s! It's like some kind of equation! I have now completed a massive 5 of these magical pieces of paper, leaving me 11 to finish before Doshisha Eve, which by the way is impossible, as White-sensei is not in this week, so I can't get his signature. So stupid.

Uuuuurgh....

Okay, so that's the worst of the report over. The rest of it is sunny sun sunshiney, to quote a popular song. Catchup in class was not that bad, considering. The worst of it comes when I ask Tsukiyama-sensei on Monday when to do my as of yet unfinished grammar tests for the last 10 topics. But I won't worry about that just yet, not when I've got a weekend to relax in.

Oh yeah, we also did karaoke last night. It was pretty cool, with Mark and I doing a staggeringly awesome Take On Me, to name just one song.

And today I bought a PS2 game. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a PS2 yet, but seeing as I'm going to be lugging the thing home on Tuesday, clutched to my breast like an infant, I don't want to additional weight of the game I'm going to be playing on it added on top. Oh, and an extra controller and memory card, which I also got today. The game in question, if you're interested, is We Love Katamari (or Minna Daisuki Katamari Damacy) which looks to be a superb game, and a perfect choice of first Japanese game to play on a Japanese console because it is really, really weird. For those not in the know, Katamari has you attempting to replace the stars in the sky that were destroyed by your overly eccentric father (who has a Christmas Cracker for a head) by rolling stuff from across the Earth into big balls, which can then be thrown into the sky to fill all that empty space. Stuff like pens, chairs, people, buildings, clouds, mountains, other planets and eventually the Sun. This is the second game in the series, which boasts more challenges and co-op as well as competetive multiplayer. Looking forward to it.

And on the topic of games, because I just so love talking about them, I've also gotten myself addicted to a beautiful little roguelike on the computer by the name of Elona. Elona is a fantasy roguelike that was originally Japanese, so there are a few translation errors that can be easily overlooked, because it looks great. It's the graphic style of the Ragnarok Online franchise, if that helps. The best bit, I think, is the alias generator for your character, which puts together random words to make a heroic-sounding name like 'Daft Rapier Pete' or 'Ray of Gay Jay' (that guy cracks me up). So that's how I've been wasting my time.

Oh yeah, and I also got demoted back down to B Rank in Gundam Kizuna. A Rank is a distant dream, it seems; a dream populated by people who spent too long playing this game. People the likes of which I will probably become, eh?

Oh, and I also now have to write a progress report for my Linguistics dissertation (due start of 4th year first term) which I have a grand nothing on as of yet. Well, got a few things to talk about, so I can probably make a fair attempt. But still...

And in a little while I have to go meet Oota-san, who wants to study in Edinburgh and wants to know more about it. Think we'll go to that Tai restaurant that I so enjoyed last time. And tomorrow is, I think, a nabe party which should be a lot of fun. They probably think I'm dead, after all. Best to show them I'm not.

Anyway, now I have a headache, and am a little bit hungry. Hope you all had a better couple of weeks than I did, and are having fun doing... whatever it is you're doing. Like dressing up as cleaning utensils, if word on the street is to be believed (you know who you are).

And one last thing: My phone now will NOT let me send photos across, so be prepared for a picture drought.

Thanks for reading!

***

カラオケで「さよなら絶望先生」の歌を歌うのは楽しいけど、すごく難しいよ。おかしいリリックがあるだから。
でも、たのしかった。
♫ オーレのねだーんを…だーれが決めた? とーらやヒョウがぼくーらの心にも!♫

Friday 6 November 2009

Should have listened to Astro Boy.

So that's it, then. I have become another case in this year's pandemic, and am thoroughly, thoroughly annoyed about it. I feel rubbish, and without school for 10 days I am going to probably be behind and bored stiff. This is without a doubt one of the worst things that could happen right now...

That aside, I thought I'd let you in on how I came to know that I had swine flu. It's an interesting tale, let me assure you, and says a lot about the Japanese way of doing things.#

So I felt a little under the weather four days ago. The morning was absolutely fine, but I found myself being a little sleepier than usual towards the end. I was going to get an early night but instead took up Ben's offer of helping him, Els and Ollie make dinner (okinomiyaki). Never had shrimp before. It was alright, I guess. By 9 I was really lolling, and not in the ha-ha way, so I went straight to bed. No problem, right?

The next day I felt a bit worse. In class I was very tired and impatient, and a bit bunged up. Not a fun lesson. But still didn't think anything of it. Just a cold; people have them all the time, especially now that the season's changing.

Things really started to get bad two days ago, with random chills despite wearing three of my own layers as well as Jason's jacket when he took pity on me. He also gave me one of his virus masks, which I have been buying for myself since. The chills have pretty much stopped now, but I still sleep with a ridiculous amount of layers. My appetite's also improved now, which was also on the down that day.

Yesterday I was feeling a little bit better, and so took up the guys' offer of going to see the film Kaiji (looks like a cross between Deathnote and YuGiOh) that evening. A man can dream, right? After hearing that Aaren had become a confirmed swine flu patient I got a little bit nervous, and then Weezy drove the proverbial stake home by ordering me to the doctor's. And I'm glad she did, looking back. Anyway, before I went to the doctor's I decided to check the University website for what they were saying about the whole thing. A handy PDF asked me to call a handy phone number, and though it was a little late I found myself talking to the Imadegawa Campus main office. After relaying my fears, the woman on the other end gave me another number (I still don't know where for) and told me to call them, so I did. The people on that line asked me for much the same information as the first one, and then gave me a bit of advice. Sweet, golden advice I was oh-so happy to receive. What was this advice, you ask?

Go to the doctor.

Tch. Those wasted combined phone calls cost me about 400 yen!

Anyway, all the hospitals were shut, and since the flu isn't an emergency I couldn't just barge my way in. So today I got up at 8 (on a Saturday... *sob*) and cycled my way down to the University health center (open 'til 12), hating every fogged-up-glasses-because-of-heavy-breathing-reflected-through-stupid-flu-mask rotation. There was a sign on the door saying something about influenza, so I got out my DS and spent 10 painstaking minutes translating what turned out to be instructions for people who might have influenze: to not be there so they don't infect people, and instead to call the center up.

I honestly couldn't believe it.

Fortunately my disbelief was rewarded by a small sign on an intercom by the side, telling me that, if I had influenza, I should press the button and wait for help. I was then told by a nurse on the other side of the intercom that the doctor wasn't in today, so I would have to go to another hospital.

...

Managed to save herself a lawsuit (I kid) when she was brave enough to venture outside of the barricaded health center reception with a map to show me the way to the teaching hospital about 10 minutes cycle away. She even parted with a touch on the arm and an o-daiji ni, which was very touching, even if, now that I look back, it sounded an awful lot like a final farewell.

So with 2 hours left before that hospital closed, I made my way over the hospital, and my goodness was it confusing. It's a hospital for uni medics, so contains classrooms and stuff as well as all the normal wards and things, and this made it a nightmare to traverse. Here's a little hint: just because something that looks like a reception is staffed by people that look like they might be intelligent, doesn't mean either of those things will be true, nor does it mean they will know where influenza gets diagnosed. The North Entrance's 'emergency measures office' didn't know (what if I had the black death, eh? Think they'd know then?), the East Entrance's finance claims office didn't know. After trekking about the building for about an hour I eventually found the security office (got such a shock when I put the kanji on the sign into the DS and it came up with 'Marine Corps.'), where a friendly grey-haired man directed me down a darkened corridor to the one reception area still in operation during what I discovered were the off-hours.

So now for the actual diagnosis.

I was asked a few standard questions about my lifestyle (smoking and alcohol and stuff) as well as the symptoms I was suffering from, and then they took my temperature and complimented my kanji. I was at 36.6 celcius, if you're interested, which is a bit above normal. Then the kind doctor stuck a nasty long cotton bud right up my nose and into my brain, or so it felt. Then he checked my eyes, mouth and heartbeat, and then I had to wait outside for a couple of minutes before being told that I was positive for what the computer called FluA, and which he said meant I probably had swine flu. The probably burnt that exam room after I left.

Speaking of which, I then had to pick up some medicine to lower my fever, and some extras to reduce nausea if I needed them. They'd better be the best flipping pills on Earth, because they sure cost me it. I've been told to come back in 3 days if there's no change, but this is apparently very unlikely.

So I just got off the phone with the main office again, who said thanks for letting us know, and please don't come near us. 10 days off school for my troubles, which is 2 grammar tests I'll have to do some other time. Hoo-ray...

No letters today.

Thanks for reading! If this is the last post I make, know that I regret nothing!

***

でも、日本は豚がないでしょう?京都で見なかった。ほんとに怖いか、このインフルエンザ?
じゃ、僕がある10日のあいだ、何をする?寮を出ることはダメだから、たくさんできないが、アニメを見られる。いいな・・・
でも、つまらなくなれるね。

Tuesday 3 November 2009

Sue Donym and DeNymrods

I'm afraid this may be something of a dull entry, as au have seen fit to make me pay to have my photos transferred conveniently between phone and computer, and so I must now attempt the arduous process of putting each file onto the SD card and taking them across myself. I have never successfully done this before: it takes several hours for each file.

Wonders of modern technology, what a joke.

Plus I'm ill.

Where did we leave off? No matter, I'll just start with the earliest interesting thing I can think of.

On Saturday, being full of the spirit of TGIF, Mark, Angela, Ben, Stephanie and I all met up in distant Mukaijima for a cook-off. Everyone made a dish whilst there; Angela made a salad, Stephanie a spagetti dish, Mark cooked some fish and Ben was late and so didn't make anything. Can't blame him, though, he was on a noble quest to get his friend a preordered ticket for the Nanoha movie.

I made mash.

But what mash it was!

It had vegetables in it and everything.

We were whiling away the hours at Mukaijima for quite some time, for it was a very nice place. Pity it's so far away, really. Also played a couple of games of Gundam War against Mark and Ben. Mark was finally able to defeat the forces of Zeon, as I knew he would some day, yet was defeated by Ben, who was then put in his place by me, and thus the cycle continued.

There was a lot of interesting stuff happening, so I'm sorry if I miss some stuff out.

Sunday was Aaren's visit to sunny Kyoto. Hah, 'sunny' Kyoto. That makes me laugh even now. It rained the whole time. Stupid, stupid climate! Regardless, Aaren took us Fushimi Inari, which he had visited some years back, which was really interesting. It's the shrine with the 1,000 gates, for those that know it, and we walked most of it. There are some great pictures, honest... There were also some very cute cats, but in Japanese tradition were all very shy. Except this one cat, and that was somehow worse, as I actually felt bad about stroking it in its apathy. After that it was off to Teramachi (that blessed covered shopping street) where we had lunch at First Kitchen.

Never been there before, but I'll be going back. The fish burger was easily a dreary third behind the mighty Mos Burger andMcDonalds, but the chips!

Oh, the chips!

50 different flavours to choose from, no joke. The cheese chips were spec-flipping-tacular, as were Mark and Aaren's BBQ chips, and that was easily enough to dry our spirits.

Next was SofMap, where I decided I needed to get a new iPod at some point to replace the senile figure of my current Shuffle. In the however-many years I've had him, his capacity has dropped from an astronomical 520MB to a frankly microscopic 485MB, and it does show. No, it really does. Plus, he forgets which songs in the playlist he's already played so will loop certain songs indefiniately until you put him out of his misery. Got my eyes on a nano, going for 14,500 yen, the same price as a PS2 (Doshisha Eve fast approaches), but there's no rush.

Namco Wonder tower next, where I was pretty much forced to play Gundam: Kizuna*. And I'm glad I did! 6 suits taken out over the course of the two games, and not one death. That was enough to not only double my overall score, earn me 2 new titles and a Rick Dom, but also pushed me into the A-Rank weight category, where I am sure to be blasted to pieces more times that I care to think about. Then we had a Tekken 6 spurt, where I met the wrath of a girl with pink hair who turned out to be a robot with rocket wings and chainsaw hands and explosive limbs.

(*This is a lie.)

Phew.

Now for Tuesday, which was Culture Day and so a day off. The cook-off crew decided to go to not-too-distant Nara, a cultural place if ever there was one, famous for giant wooden temples and deer. And what a place! Despite getting lost on the way to the park (which covers almost half the city...) we saw deer enough to last a lifetime. And the funny things would eat right of your hand! Again, there are pictures. They're simply everywhere, and not that fussed about getting stroked. Also, and I'm not sure how this came about, a lot of them have learnt to bow to accept food. They were bowing! It was fantastic!

Oh, and Todaiji was quite good too, even though we missed the opening times and couldn't see the inside. But Steph and Angela bought a Dragonball for my birthday, so all was well. But seriously, so tired after that.

Probably a precursor for today's disease, that fatigue. Also, today came with a nasty surprise: they'd switched the order of the next kanji and grammar tests, which meant the grammar test I'd spent ages revising for is now on Monday, and the kanji test I frankly neglected is tomorrow. Load. of. rubbish.

Also forgot to but the washing in.

Urgh.

And on that note, Letter Corner.

Today's letter comes from Weezy back in Leicester, who asks: "What happened to the Japanese translations of your posts?"

Yeah, thanks for reminding me.

I'm pretty sure I covered this in a previous post, but writing in Japanese is by no means easy, and by the time I've thought up everything I've lost the inclination to write it all again. It takes forever. But just for you, I've decided to add a short bit of Japanese at the end of each post from now on, something I didn't mention before, so you have something to practise your reading on.

Hope that's sufficient, it's all you're getting.

Thanks for reading.

***

高田先生、聞こえるか?テストの日を変えることは楽しいか?サープライズテストも好きか?
じゃ、教えさせて:
留学生はこのものが大嫌いだ!!
それも、お前が大嫌い!!
高田先生、アホウ!!
以上!


Actually, I quite enjoyed that.