I have been doing NOTHING this past week. Nothing at all.
So perhaps yu can forgive me for not drawling on about how rubbish it is to be ostracized because of swine flu, or how great Z Gundam is, or how much I'd like a Japanese PS2 (Tuesday is not far off now...).
But now I have a few things to talk about, and we shall start with the most important, I feel. For on Monday I had to return to the doctor's to get myself rediagnosed, and it was quite possibly the very best example of why Japanese beaurocracy deserves a firey grave.
So, as I knew that they would be dishing the things out, my first port of call was the Health Center for the University at Muromachi Campus a short walk from Imadegawa so I could get that precious doctor's note. I risked not using my mask, as I was feeling fine, and went up to check. Turns out the doctor wasn't in (I'm starting to sense a pattern) so I was asked to go back to where I was originaly diagnosed and ask for a rediagnosis. So, on the bike and off to that other hospital (still can't remember the name) which was packed wth early-morning sickies, and was as such as far removed from the quiet efficiency of the out-of-hours clinic as you could get. After searching about for a main desk-looking place, I decided to follow the paper signs for the worryingly named 'Influenza Corner' and see what they could do.
I was convinced that I wasn't supposed to be there pretty quick, as the Influenza Corner was a shabby-looking room with no medical equipment, just a bank of computers and some guys in glasses who did NOT look like doctors. Regardless, I took a seat and told them my story. There were confused looks and hesistant questions, and at one point one passed another a note that clearly said 'What do we do?'. In the end, I was led by one of the bespectacled chaps to what turned out to be the main desk (which I later learnt, as with many of the desks, changes places throughout the daylike the stairs of Hogwarts).
So anyway, from there I was asked again for my sob-story, issued a patient's ID card and asked to wait. I was only there for about 10 minutes and a short form that asked for the usual stuff before I was handed a folder of files (the majority of which had nothing to do with me, I reckon) and asked to take the perilous journey to the unknown second floor via the escalator. There I handed the forms to the second floor main desk, and was asked to wait. At one point a nurse came over and asked me to check my temperature with a handy electro-thermometer (35.3, a bit on the cold side) and then led me to one of those machines that takes blood pressure, where I was strapped in. This is bearing in mind she may have had nothing to do with my case, and was just trying to speed things along, so when I heard the PA thing ask for 'Mr Swan to come to diagnosis room 1' I was a little alarmed, as not only was I busy, but with each passing moment the pressure on my arm was tightening. Turns out it only takes a couple of seconds, so I took the receipt the machine dished out and headed to the room.
In the end the diagnosis was no problem at all. They didn'd even have to stick the nasty spike/cotton bud up my nose; the friendly doctor just seemed to take my word for it. I was issued a clean bill of health, or rather would have been, except this was Japan, and so issuing anything is a task of marathon proportions.
So here's what happened:
The doctor showed me the form I would be receiving on screen (and it was a form, one filled out by the doctor), and Chris Tarrent-style informed me that they didn't want to give me that. At least, not until I'd paid for it. Paid?! Tch... Still, I was in no place to argue, and it was a mere 1,200 yen so I didn't mind much. It was that or never go back to school, after all. I was given a receipt for the form and sent down to the payment desk on the first floor, which that day at that time was at 'number 5', as opposed to '6', where it would be over the lunch period, and '8' where it would be after. I wish I was making this up.
So I handed the receipt to the people behind the desk, which took 3 minutes due to cue, and was then asked to sit down while they got things ready. About 4 minutes after I was handed a bit of paper with the number 219 on it, and asked to wait for my number to be called at desk 4, which was handily just next to desk 5. Heaven forbid I was there in the afternoon, I may have had to trek across the whole building! Waiting for 219 to come up cost me 30 minutes, which got me a chance to sent Pyotr through the trials of the Pokemon Stage at the Battle Frontier. Then I was indeed called up, and was given...
another bit of paper. This one had to be sent to the payment office at desk 3. I swear...
Anyway, I shuffled on over there, where I was queuing a little bit before I was asked to actually pay. And here's the part that cracked me up once I was out of earshot:
The form cose 1,200 yen, but the receipt for the form, the one I got from desk 4, cost an additional 200 yen. If the doctor had sent the form to the payment office, I could have gotten it for 1,200 as I was promised, but because I had the audacity to move some of their paper for them they charged me an additional 200 yen as some sort of transport fee. That I had to pay! The transporter!! Ridiculous.
And let's just go over the paper count just quickly. The doctor gave me a receipt, which got me a paper with a number on it, which got me another receipt, which got me the form I wanted. The doctor's was a form for a form for a form for a form. That's a 4 Form Combo! I love Japanese beauracracy.
But we're not done yet! Oh no! This Form to the Power of 4 was for the Doshisha office to prove why I was not in class over the last week, so I went to hand it in on Tuesday at lunch. And like Frodo with his magical ring, I expected something of a rest for finishing the trials that brought me to this point, but the Rivendell that is the Nichibun center was not happy with just that. I needed to collect teacher signatures MMORPG style to proceed, which needed to be written on their own special form... And the really funny thing? I needed one signature, thus one form, for each lesson I missed.
Sixteen forms.
Six-
-flipping-
-TEEN!!
That's Sixteen Form to the Power of 5s! It's like some kind of equation! I have now completed a massive 5 of these magical pieces of paper, leaving me 11 to finish before Doshisha Eve, which by the way is impossible, as White-sensei is not in this week, so I can't get his signature. So stupid.
Uuuuurgh....
Okay, so that's the worst of the report over. The rest of it is sunny sun sunshiney, to quote a popular song. Catchup in class was not that bad, considering. The worst of it comes when I ask Tsukiyama-sensei on Monday when to do my as of yet unfinished grammar tests for the last 10 topics. But I won't worry about that just yet, not when I've got a weekend to relax in.
Oh yeah, we also did karaoke last night. It was pretty cool, with Mark and I doing a staggeringly awesome Take On Me, to name just one song.
And today I bought a PS2 game. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a PS2 yet, but seeing as I'm going to be lugging the thing home on Tuesday, clutched to my breast like an infant, I don't want to additional weight of the game I'm going to be playing on it added on top. Oh, and an extra controller and memory card, which I also got today. The game in question, if you're interested, is We Love Katamari (or Minna Daisuki Katamari Damacy) which looks to be a superb game, and a perfect choice of first Japanese game to play on a Japanese console because it is really, really weird. For those not in the know, Katamari has you attempting to replace the stars in the sky that were destroyed by your overly eccentric father (who has a Christmas Cracker for a head) by rolling stuff from across the Earth into big balls, which can then be thrown into the sky to fill all that empty space. Stuff like pens, chairs, people, buildings, clouds, mountains, other planets and eventually the Sun. This is the second game in the series, which boasts more challenges and co-op as well as competetive multiplayer. Looking forward to it.
And on the topic of games, because I just so love talking about them, I've also gotten myself addicted to a beautiful little roguelike on the computer by the name of Elona. Elona is a fantasy roguelike that was originally Japanese, so there are a few translation errors that can be easily overlooked, because it looks great. It's the graphic style of the Ragnarok Online franchise, if that helps. The best bit, I think, is the alias generator for your character, which puts together random words to make a heroic-sounding name like 'Daft Rapier Pete' or 'Ray of Gay Jay' (that guy cracks me up). So that's how I've been wasting my time.
Oh yeah, and I also got demoted back down to B Rank in Gundam Kizuna. A Rank is a distant dream, it seems; a dream populated by people who spent too long playing this game. People the likes of which I will probably become, eh?
Oh, and I also now have to write a progress report for my Linguistics dissertation (due start of 4th year first term) which I have a grand nothing on as of yet. Well, got a few things to talk about, so I can probably make a fair attempt. But still...
And in a little while I have to go meet Oota-san, who wants to study in Edinburgh and wants to know more about it. Think we'll go to that Tai restaurant that I so enjoyed last time. And tomorrow is, I think, a nabe party which should be a lot of fun. They probably think I'm dead, after all. Best to show them I'm not.
Anyway, now I have a headache, and am a little bit hungry. Hope you all had a better couple of weeks than I did, and are having fun doing... whatever it is you're doing. Like dressing up as cleaning utensils, if word on the street is to be believed (you know who you are).
And one last thing: My phone now will NOT let me send photos across, so be prepared for a picture drought.
Thanks for reading!
***
カラオケで「さよなら絶望先生」の歌を歌うのは楽しいけど、すごく難しいよ。おかしいリリックがあるだから。
でも、たのしかった。
♫ オーレのねだーんを…だーれが決めた？ とーらやヒョウがぼくーらの心にも！♫
でも、たのしかった。
♫ オーレのねだーんを…だーれが決めた？ とーらやヒョウがぼくーらの心にも！♫
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